The rise of an extremely dangerous flesh-eating parasite is raising alarm bells across the country. The detection of New World Screwworms in Texas is the first confirmed case in the U.S. in nearly 60 years. This parasitic fly’s larvae feed exclusively on the living tissue of warm-blooded animals.

U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) officials urged the public to remain calm and said that the emergence of screwworms is not currently a risk to our food supply.

As part of a new initiative to combat these pests, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has been appointed the “Screwworm Czar” and is being immediately deployed to Texas.

While plans are still being formulated, sources tell the Freer Press that RFK Jr. is being “unleashed” on the screwworms, with direct orders to eat as many of the unhatched larvae as possible.

Kennedy did not immediately reply when asked for comment, but sources close to RFK Jr. say he is “thrilled” about his new assignment and excited to explore the potential health benefits associated with consuming these parasitic maggots.

Kennedy is said to be in the process of developing Make America Healthy Again (MAHA) themed screwworm recipes, including a “Maggot Meatloaf” and a protein-packed raw whole milk “Screwworm Breakfast Smoothie”.

Despite being someone he has “known for a long time” President Donald Trump announced on his Truth Social account that he will be skipping his son Donald Trump Jr.’s wedding this weekend in the Bahamas. While disappointed, sources close to Don Jr. say this is not the first time he has been publicly humiliated by his father, and certainly won’t be the last.

President Trump will reportedly be sending the happy couple a custom message on Cameo to mark the special occasion.

This is a developing story, stay tuned for updates.

The Freer Press

The Freer Press is new media outlet dedicated to the principles that once defined great American Journalism: Truth, independence, and fearlessness. The Freer Press is *NOT* affiliated with any other brands or media outlets.

“As a guy who has plenty of experience manipulating the results of an autopsy, I am really disappointed in our DNC Chair Ken Martin. You’ve just got to be smarter than this.”

It’s time to finally deal with our Cuba problem. Just 90 miles off the coast of Florida, Cuba’s been a perpetual thorn in our side for decades. From the Bay of Pigs to the Cuban Missile Crisis to annoying Michael Moore documentaries touting Cuba’s healthcare system, the island has been thumbing its nose in our face for far too long.

What was once a serene safe harbor for capitalistic American interests, like casino gambling, sugar plantations, death squads, and sex trafficking, everything took a dark turn after the Cuban Revolution and the rise of Fidel Castro.

While regime apologists point to Cuban “achievements”, like eliminating illiteracy, a universal, free healthcare system, and the lowest infant mortality rate in the Americas, it’s clear to anyone paying attention that Cuba poses an imminent threat to the United States.

Recent evidence shows that the Cuban government has acquired 300 drones which could be used in an attack against the U.S. or our allies. This unprecedented Cuban military build up requires a response. Here are our top 5 reasons for an immediate invasion of Cuba:

1. Immediate economic opportunities for American businesses, family members, and close personal friends of Secretary of State Marco Rubio

2. A 21^st century revival of a Meyer Lansky-styled organized crime syndicate

3. Bringing for-profit health insurance innovations to a population suffering under the scourge of universal healthcare

4. Ted Cruz (and his dad) really wants to do this

5. An ideal environment for the cultivation of new, profitable data centers

The Freer Press

The Freer Press is new media outlet dedicated to the principles that once defined great American Journalism: Truth, independence, and fearlessness. The Freer Press is *NOT* affiliated with any other brands or media outlets.

After months of intense pressure, Democratic National Committee (DNC) chair Ken Martin released the party’s autopsy report on the 2024 election. Martin initially promised to release the report, but then backtracked in December, causing a firestorm of controversy that’s plagued his short tenure as party chair.

Finally giving in to the pressure campaign, the DNC published the full report on Thursday morning, and Martin issued an apology for “creating an even bigger distraction.”

The report “[does] not meet my standards, and it won’t meet your standards,” he said, “but I am doing this because people need to be able to trust the Democratic Party and trust our word.”

The autopsy diagnosed several factors that hurt former Vice President Harris’ chances in 2024, including:

• Not condemning figures like Hasan Piker forcefully enough

• An unwillingness to conduct more campaign rallies with Liz Cheney

• Being too critical of Israel’s right to defend itself

• A disproportionate focus on the needs and wants of young voters

• Drawing too clear a distinction from herself and the vibrant legacy of President Joe Biden

DNC sources say they will begin working with a veteran team of establishment consultants to create a more comprehensive report. According to party insiders, the DNC will actively seek input from sources like AIPAC, the Third Way think tank, and health insurance executives as they try to repair their damaged image with frustrated voters.

“We hear you, we see you, we are moving forward.”

The Freer Press

The Freer Press is new media outlet dedicated to the principles that once defined great American Journalism: Truth, independence, and fearlessness. The Freer Press is *NOT* affiliated with any other brands or media outlets.