The rise of an extremely dangerous flesh-eating parasite is raising alarm bells across the country. The detection of New World Screwworms in Texas is the first confirmed case in the U.S. in nearly 60 years. This parasitic fly’s larvae feed exclusively on the living tissue of warm-blooded animals.
U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) officials urged the public to remain calm and said that the emergence of screwworms is not currently a risk to our food supply.
As part of a new initiative to combat these pests, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has been appointed the “Screwworm Czar” and is being immediately deployed to Texas.
While plans are still being formulated, sources tell the Freer Press that RFK Jr. is being “unleashed” on the screwworms, with direct orders to eat as many of the unhatched larvae as possible.
Kennedy did not immediately reply when asked for comment, but sources close to RFK Jr. say he is “thrilled” about his new assignment and excited to explore the potential health benefits associated with consuming these parasitic maggots.
Kennedy is said to be in the process of developing Make America Healthy Again (MAHA) themed screwworm recipes, including a “Maggot Meatloaf” and a protein-packed raw whole milk “Screwworm Breakfast Smoothie”.
The smoothie sounds fantastic.